Evaluation

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Final Film: ‘Tranquillity’

I have improved my video quite a lot since my previous draft and now have my final film ready. 

This is the final version of ‘Tranquillity’: 

Overall, I am happy with my final film as I have put a lot of work into it and have improved it significantly in comparison to my prior upload. 

Final Website (Ancillary)

After receiving all my feedback for my magazine review from my target audience, I have added all my improvements and am happy with the result. 

This is the final draft of my website homepage:

Screen Shot 2018-03-09 at 12.22.15

Here is the link to my website: https://simrankp24.wixsite.com/tranquillity

I have clearly made some improvements to the homepage itself as well as other pages on my website which can be explored by clicking the link above.

 

Final Magazine Review (Ancillary)

After receiving all my feedback for my magazine review from my target audience, I have added all my improvements and am happy with the result. 

This is the final draft of my magazine review:

Final Magazine Review copy

As seen above, I changed the whole review from A4 to A3 and added an image to take up one A4 page, as well as adding anchorage text. I also changed the font of my title to create synergy as it now matches the font title on my film and website. 

Ancillary (Website Homepage) Draft 2

After receiving all the feedback from my target audience, I decided to create another draft of my website homepage before creating my final one as I want to make sure it is of a high standard. Therefore, I have created a new version of my website and I will be getting more feedback from my target audience.

This is the second draft of my website homepage: 

wesbite draft 2

For my first draft of my website homepage, I used SquareSpace to create it but I felt like the editing options were limited, and therefore I could not make it to the best of my ability. Therefore, this time I used Wix as it is much easier to use and I can edit everything how I want to. It did not take me too long to create as I had created it within a couple of hours, and I am much happier with the process of creating it. 

Personally, I really like the layout of my website homepage as it is clear and easy to use. I have also created some other pages as seen at the top of the page. Although, I have not yet included all the content on it, but I aim to do this soon. 

However, there are also a few things that I realise I need to change on my website homepage as it is very plain overall. There is also a lot of space between the menu bar at the top and the title. To solve this issue, I will be adding the image of my protagonist that I have included in my magazine review in that space. Not only will this create synergy throughout all my media texts, it would also make my website more visually pleasing. I will also change the colour of the ‘Watch Now’ button as it is quite difficult to read and it should stand out more. 

Overall, I am pleased with my website as a whole as I know I can easily improve it and can make it to a high standard. I think that it follows the general codes and conventions of a website homepage due to the research I have previously carried out. There is obviously a lot missing on this website as it looks very plain but I will be adding more to the website and I will definitely listen to all the feedback I receive and change certain aspects of my website if necessary. 

Target audience feedback

I decided to get some feedback from my target audience as it is important for me to see what they think of my website as I want it to be appealing. These are the main things I need to improve: 

  • Add an image on the homepage to make it more aesthetic. 
  • Add more content on the other pages, such as adding more information about the cast.
  • Add some reviews or comments about the film to make the viewers want to watch your film. 

Personally, I agree with all these improvements and I will add these to my website as soon as possible. I will be adding an image of my protagonist on the homepage of my website to give the viewer more insight into my film, as well as making it more visually pleasing. In addition to this, I will also be adding quotes about my film to the homepage as it will encourage viewers to watch my film, as well as being more aesthetic. I will also add more information to the casting page to the viewers can learn more about them. All of this will definitely all be ready for the third/final draft which should be ready by Friday 2nd February. 

I got all the feedback that I was expecting as I wasn’t expecting to make any big changes, therefore I am happy with where I am right now. I will definitely have my final draft before my deadline which is February 9th as everything is currently on track. 

Ancillary (Magazine Review) Draft 2

After receiving all the feedback from my target audience, I decided create another draft of my magazine review before creating my final one as I want to make sure it is of a high standard. Therefore, I have created a new version of my magazine review and I will ensure to get more feedback from my target audience. 

This is the second draft of my magazine review:

magazine review draft 2 pic

I created this magazine review by adding improvements from the feedback I received from my first draft. I didn’t have a lot of improvements, therefore it did not take too long to improve. I corrected all my spelling mistakes, changed some vocabulary so certain words weren’t repeated, moved the text around so there weren’t any major gaps and I also changed the stars. 

Personally, I like the image that I have included in this magazine review and I think that I have edited it well as it reflects the dark themes that will be included in my film. The protagonist is revealed which also reaches out to my target audience as she is clearly a young woman/teenager. As the protagonist is looking directly into the camera, the readers can infer that this is of the drama genre, which is also supported by her serious facial expressions. This is also hinted at due to the nose ring as it portrays her to be different to the ‘typical’ teenage girl. 

One thing that I would change is to give my readers more of an insight into my film as I think that it would intrigue them more. Although, I am unsure of how to do this as I wouldn’t want to change the image that I have used and I also don’t want to give too much away in the review itself as it already discussed the main themes quite a lot. 

Overall, I am happy with this magazine review as I think it follows the general codes and conventions of a magazine review due to my research into it. However, I will listen to all my feedback and will improve it if I need to. 

I got some feedback from my target audience who suggested these improvements:

  • Don’t use the word ‘desolation’ as the meaning is unclear. 
  • Correct any spelling and grammar mistakes. 
  • The review should be a double page to make it more professional.  

All these improvements will be added as soon as possible and will be presented through my third/final draft. I will correcting any mistakes in my writing within the next few days as well as removing the word ‘desolation’. I will also be making this review into a double page by adding an image as one whole page as this is common in magazine reviews. However, this will take me some time as this image will be taken when I re-film a couple of my scenes. I will be doing this on January 28, and I will add the image in on that day. This means that my third/final draft will not be ready until then. 

I also decided that my magazine review would look more professional if it was a double page, therefore it is important I make this change. I personally think that this is a good improvement as it will also allow the readers to get more of an insight of my short film. To do so, I have decided to include an image of my protagonist at the graveyard as this will signify the loss of her father, and will also refer to a scene from my film. It will emphasise the drama genre and will also allow some of the readers to be able to relate to my film as they may have lost someone in their lives. Therefore, readers will be intrigued to watch the film. 

There is one issue that I need to deal with which is the font of my title as it does not match the font I have used in my final video, nor my website homepage. As synergy is important, I will need to decide on one font only and change the other two texts. I will ensure to do this as soon as possible and will be included in my final drafts of each media text. This will also help me in my evaluation, therefore allowing me to get more marks.

I got all the feedback that I was expecting as I wasn’t expecting to make any big changes, therefore I am happy with where I am right now. I will definitely have my final draft before my deadline which is February 9th as everything is currently on track. 

Ancillary (Website Homepage) Draft 1

I have created the first draft of my second ancillary text. I struggled to create this as I couldn’t find any simple websites which allowed me to have the specific layout I wanted. In the end, I ended up using SquareSpace, which gave me a variety of templates which I could edit to my own liking. However, I am not completely happy with what I have created so far as I wanted to include quite a lot more. Nevertheless, I will be getting feedback on this first draft to see what my target audience would expect to from my website homepage.

website-ancillary-draft-1.png

Feedback

To get my feedback, I decided to hold a focus group so I could get detailed feedback from each individual. This focus group consisted of 10 people, all from my target audience (aged between 16 and 21) and this is what they said: 

Person 1:

Strength: I think that the background picture is really great and effective as anyone can instantly see by looking at it that this is a story of pain and is a drama film. 

Improvement: It would be great if you could create more boxes with each one taking you to a different point. For example, you have the ‘watch now’ box but if you also had a ‘Behind the scenes’ option, ‘Information’ section or comment section it would be a lot more appealing. Also if you should include some writing under the title like a motto or something.

Person 2:

Strength: I feel like the placement of the title is effective as to me it suggests that the protagonist is blind to positivity and can only think of tranquillity as her only goal is to be at peace and not try to get better or get any help. 

Improvement: Include some writing beneath the title. 

Person 3:

Strength: Overall, this homepage looks great and seems to provide a lot of information about your film visually. 

Improvement: I think that you could create more options which allows your viewers to learn more about the film. 

Person 4:

Strength: It is good that you have social media links at the bottom of the page and I also like the mini title at the top of the page. 

Improvement: The positioning of the text should be moved as it looks weird on the protagonist’s face as it seems to match up with her facial features. 

Person 5:

Strength: Effective layout; I feel like this website homepage reflects dark genres that we can expect to see in the film.

Improvement: I think you should move the text which says, ‘Starring Tara Hodgson-Love’ a little bit lower. 

Person 6:

Strength: I like the image that has been used in the background and the symmetry of it.  

Improvement: The social media icons should be made bigger as I did not notice them at first.

Person 7:

Strength: It looks very professional and effective. I like the use of dark colours and the colour contrast with the white writing. 

Improvement: Some of the text is really small and therefore difficult to read. 

Person 8:

Strength: I think that the dark colours are effective and represent the genre and themes of the film.

Improvement: I think the text should be shifted down as the protagonist’s face is covered too much.

Person 9:

Strength: I like the dark theme that has been represented throughout the whole page. 

Improvement: I think that the text in general should be made bigger so it stands out more, especially the title. 

Person 10:

Strength: I like the image that has been used in the background as well as the dark colours as I feel like the viewer has been given an insight into the film as I assume the background image is of the protagonist. Also, the use of dark colours and the protagonist’s facial expressions allow me to assume that the film is of the drama genre and explores dark themes. 

Improvement: I think that the homepage is quite empty which is supported by the dark background. However, I don’t think you should change the dark background but instead make the text a bit bigger and add more tabs and links to the page to make it really stand out. 


I have taken all this feedback into consideration and have come up with a list of improvements that I will adapt to my website homepage. 

Here is the list of improvements: 

  • Add more tabs which will allow viewers to get more information about the film, such as ‘Information’, ‘Gallery’, ‘Cast Interview’ etc. 
  • Make social media links bigger so they stand out more.
  • Move the text on the page to make it stand out more and not block the background image so much. 
  • Make the text larger.

All these improvements will be added and will be presented through my second draft. I aim to get this done soon as I can, so I can then get feedback once again and be ready to create my final draft. 

I got all the feedback that I was expecting, however I will not be using the same software to create my second draft as I didn’t really like the options it was giving me. Therefore, I will be searching for a different software and will re-create my website homepage from scratch but I will definitely make sure I include all of these improvements and see how it turns out. Once this has been done, it is important for me to get more feedback as the page might end up being a lot different due to the different software. Nevertheless, I am quite happy with where I currently am and I plan to have my second draft created soon. 

In the next few days I will be playing around with some other website creators and then I will choose which one I think is best for me. 

In conclusion, I am happy with all the feedback that I have received and will have my second draft ready with all these improvements intact. 

Ancillary (Magazine Review) Draft 1

I have created my first ancillary text, which is my magazine review. I created this on Photoshop and am quite happy with how it turned out. Although, I may change some things that I have written in my review once I have edited more of my film. 

Screen Shot 2017-12-08 at 13.10.04.png

As I am happy with this draft, I have decided to get feedback from my target audience so I know how to improve. I have set up some questions on google forms, ready for some feedback on this draft.

Feedback:

To get my feedback, I decided to hold a focus group so I could get detailed feedback from each individual. This focus group consisted of 10 people, all from my target audience (aged between 16 and 21) and this is what they said: 

Person 1: 

Strength: I like how the story is straight to the point because you want to make sure that your whole point comes across strong and not deviate from your message which I feel is great. You kept it simple so anyone could understand it as it is obvious for anyone that what’s happening to the protagonist is heartbreaking.

Improvement: Rather than emphasising the word ‘depression’, use another word that gets the message through to the reader or viewer because the word depression wants people to look away. I suggest including words such as hopelessness, despair, isolation or desolation. Also, try not to say ‘bully’ so much because it feels overused. Try using another word because you don’t want your movie to be like any other. In ’13 reasons why’ they didn’t use the word bully as much which made it a great show.

Also, when you say “The main causes…wishes to be at peace” I feel personally that when you are writing about your short story you shouldn’t keep it so simple. For instance, I feel it should be phrased like this “The mental and psychological effects that the main protagonist that she deals at her school (is it a high school? be a bit more detailed so people can relate) by certain individuals causes her suffocation on top of her father passing away. Makes her life just as hard, she tries to find her lost happiness however, circumstances don’t allow her to feel like this.” For me as a reader if I read the plot I would be like oh it’s a bully story so I don’t need to watch this video, I feel like you should be making the reader more curious to your story.

Person 2:

Strength: I like the overall layout of it all as it is simple but effective. 

Improvement: There are some spelling issues; you put ‘moster’ instead of ‘monster’.  

Person 3:

Strength: It looks good overall, it seems quite professional and effective. 

Improvement: The only thing I would change is the stars as I don’t think they are as professional. 

Person 4:

Strength: I really like the image that has been used and the positioning of it.  

Improvement: The stars seem like they have been stretched out so maybe reshape them to make them look more professional. Also, I’m unsure of the spaces that have been left at the beginning of each paragraph. 

Person 5:

Strength: Effective layout and good amount of writing. The reader doesn’t feel thrown by the amount of writing and I think the font size and type is perfect. 

Improvement: There are some spelling mistakes that need to be fixed. 

Person 6:

Strength: I like the gaps at the beginning of each paragraph as it seems right for a magazine review and is easier to read. 

Improvement: The stars seem to be stretched out and it would also look better if the stars were one solid colour rather than faded.

Person 7:

Strength: It looks really professional as a magazine review and is easy to read.

Improvement: The gap between the stars and the text below it seems quite big.

Person 8:

Strength: I really like the overall layout as it looks very professional. I also like the image that has been used. 

Improvement: I think there is too much writing which is thrown at the reader. 

Person 9:

Strength: The use of columns is very professional and is an important convention of a magazine review that has been included. 

Improvement: I think there is a lot of writing and can be made to be more spacious by making the description/plot in a larger font size so it stands out and removing some writing from the review itself.

Person 10:

Strength: I really like the overall layout as I feel like I would really see this review in a magazine which is great. I also think that the language that has been used is very professional and fitting to a magazine review.

Improvement: The only improvement that I can suggest is the stars. I think that they lack in professionalism due to the colour and size. They look a bit stretched out and I don’t like the fact that they have been faded as I would expect to see one consistent colour in the stars. 


I have taken all this feedback into consideration and have come up with a list of improvements that I will adapt to my magazine review. 

Here is the list of improvements: 

  • Use a wider range of vocabulary rather than repeating the words ‘depression’ and ‘bully’. Language should be slightly more professional overall.
  • Fix spelling errors.
  • Make the stars more professional – not faded and not reshaped. 
  • It should be more spacious – spread out the writing so there aren’t any major gaps. 

All these improvements will be added onto my current magazine review and will be presented through my second draft. I aim to get this done soon as I can, and then I will get feedback once again and be ready to create my final draft. 

I got all the feedback that I was expecting, therefore I am happy with where I am right now. I don’t think it will take me long to add all my improvements and my second draft should be ready by mid January. 

Main Video Draft 1

I have completed my first draft of my short film, ‘Tranquillity’. It does not contain all the footage and is only the first couple of minutes as this is where I currently am in the editing process. I still have a lot to do and this draft is not to the standard I was hoping for it to be, however I know what to improve in order to improve its quality.

This is the first draft of my short film:

 

As I already have a lot to change in order to improve my short film, I will not be getting feedback from this specific draft. However, as feedback from my target audience is important, I will be getting feedback from my next draft, where I would have made some changes. 

Here are some things I plan on changing in order to improve my video: 

Audio

Personally, I think that the audio is the biggest problem of this first draft. The voice over is not clear, and some clicks can be heard in the background from the voice over clip. Obviously, this is not professional and affects the standard of my film. In order to fix this issue, I will be re-recording my voice over on Sunday 10th December and ensuring it is clear with no unnecessary sounds in the background. I have blogged about the difficulties I have previously faced with my voice over, however I now have a simple way to record it whilst ensuring it is clear and is good quality. I have booked out the camera from school as well as a microphone, and will record the voice over straight onto the camera. 

On the other hand, I really like the background music I have used in the background as I think it creates a slow, emotional tone to the film and sets a sad tone, which is what I was aiming for. It also fits in well with the tone of the protagonist’s voice in the voice over, which makes it more effective. Nevertheless, I will be asking my target audience what they think of this music in the screening of my second draft, as it is important they like it and it creates an emotional impact on them.

Title

One foolish, yet significant mistake I made in this draft is the spelling of my film title. The name of my film is ‘Tranquillity’, however I spelt it with one ‘L’ instead of two. Although this seems like a minor mistake, it is significant as it is not professional to misspell the title of my own film. Luckily, I noticed that it was spelt wrong and will have the correct spelling for my second draft. 

On the bright side, I am happy that I have the title for my film decided already as it saves me time to think of the name. I came up with the title for it after listening to my voice over for the first time as it ends with wanting to be tranquil, therefore I thought it would fit well. However, if my audience comment negatively about this title, I will consider changing it as it is important that my film has an emotional impact on my audience. 

Cuts

I think that some of the shots in my film need to be cut short by a second or two as the filming does not seem precise in each shot. This is not a significant issue as it is easy to cut clips and I do not need to re-shoot any of the clips that I have used. To me, it seems that a few adjustments with the cutting and editing in general will help perfect my film and just make it seem a lot more professional, and my audience will enjoying the film a lot more. 

Overall thoughts 

Overall, I think that I have done an average job of putting the first minute and a half of my footage together and editing it so it all fits in well together. It is obvious that quite a few changes need to be made, which I will do soon. I aim for my second draft to be much more improved than this and ready for some feedback from my audience. 

However, I will not continue editing straight away as I will be putting all my focus on creating my ancillary texts right now so they will be ready by the 11th of this month as this is the deadline for the first draft. Therefore, this is the most significant thing for me to focus on right now. Once I have created my first drafts of these ancillary texts, I will continue to edit my short film and have my second draft ready as soon as I can. 

Despite this, on Sunday 10th December, I will be re-shooting a scene for my film as the original footage was too shaky. Therefore, I decided to re-shoot the scene and use a tripod. It is important to do this as soon as I possibly can so it will be ready for when I want to continue editing my film. I will also be recording my voice over once again, and am also hoping to interview my protagonist which will be used in one of my ancillary texts (the website), as it will make it more professional and intriguing to my audience and viewers. 

In conclusion, I am happy with the stage I am currently at as I know exactly what I need to do to perfect everything and have a clear schedule of when to do it all. I also know where to find help if I need it, although I am positive that everything will go according to plan. I will keep my blog updated with everything I will be doing in regards to my film and my ancillary texts, and if it goes well or not.